I have so much anger in me right now, it’s a mix of emotions. Anger, frustration, bitterness, sadness, betrayal…and any other negative emotion you can think of but no happy emotions are in me at this moment.
I feel so betrayed by those who said they were my friends.
I was backstabbed by a good friend which is a total violation of being a friend.
My own conference was taken away from me and I was told I was incompetent and not performing to the best of my ability, they were going to give it to someone with more time.
This conference was ridiculous, and turned out no different than what it would have been if I had stayed in charge.
Someone else took credit for all the work I had done before, that person took my spot and never apologized to me or said sorry.
And I am no longer convinced that, that person was on my side. That person was supposed to support me and help me but instead went with the bandwagon and voted me off the cabinet. That’s nice huh?
I’m not convinced at all that my “friend” took my side and that day I was voted off, instead of consoling me the person decided to go shopping, even nicer huh?
Because in that situation that’s totally the right course of action. Go shopping or take care of my friend?
I guess shopping was more important than my feelings at that point.
Or the point that that person was given my spot, that’s what got me furious. That person got all the credit for my work.
This couldn’t have been done without you, you saved the conference, all your hard work…blah blah blah
Your hard work? Did they say your hard work? Um no, really, most of the work was done by me. All the hard work was me. Making the invite, getting my secretariat, sending the invite, inviting schools, booking the place to host…that’s not hard work?
Even my Secretary General knew this conference was a joke, she said it herself, “Who wants to come to Davis, it’s in the middle of nowhere.” Then why make all this effort if you knew no one would come? Why take my spot away two weeks before the conference when it wouldn’t make a difference.
No one told me what my expectations were for being an SG and I was some how supposed to know how to run a conference, like I had done it before. And I was expected to tell people what to do when I was even told what my duties were, there really needs to be a manual that is made that clearly states what everyone’s responsibilities are.
I know I’m not incompetent, I’m not dumb, and I’m just a busy college student with a lot to juggle, a little support was all I wanted…not for everyone to tell me I was doing a bad job.
I just wanted someone on my side, but it became clear that all those I trusted just stabbed me in the back.
And here I thought MUN was supposed to be a family. But family doesn’t do those kinds of things to you.
I used to love MUN with a passion, and now it’s become a burden to deal with, and I wish it wasn’t so.
And I’m still not sure why this happened to me. I feel betrayed.